KARAOKE FOR THE HEARING IMPAIRED

What can I say, this is just funny shit folks.

DEAF KARAOKE LIVE --

THE ULTIMATE VERSION

Read More......

HOW TO TALK ABOUT MEN & BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' -
He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is
'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in
'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He is not a 'CRADLE ROBBER' - He prefers
'GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS.'

6. He does not get 'FALLING-DOWN DRUNK' -
He becomes 'ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.'

7. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' -
He develops a case of
'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

8 He is not a 'MALE CHAUVINIST PIG' -
He has 'SWINE EMPATHY.'

9. He is not afraid of 'COMMITMENT' -
He is 'RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED.'

10. He is not 'HORNY' - He is
'SEXUALLY FOCUSED.'

11. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out
of his pants - It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE.'

Personal note - (1), 2, 6 & 10 are my favorites.

WHAT P.C. PHRASE CORRECTIONS
CAN YOU THINK OF ?

Read More......

HOW TO TALK ABOUT WOMEN & BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
'BREASTED HUMAN.'

2. She is not a 'SCREAMER' or a 'MOANER' -
She is 'VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.'

3. She is not 'EASY' - She is
'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

4. She is not a 'DUMB BLOND' - She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

5. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

6. She is not an 'AIRHEAD' - She is
'REALITY IMPAIRED.'

7. She does not get 'DRUNK' or 'TIPSY' -
She gets 'CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED'

8. She does not have 'BREAST IMPLANTS' -
She is 'MEDICALLY ENHANCED.'

9. She does not 'NAG YOU' - She becomes
'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

10. She is not a 'TRAMP' - She is
'SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.'

11. She does not have 'MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS'
- She is 'PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.'

12 She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a
'LOW COST PROVIDER.'

A personal note - 3, 5 & 11 are my favorites.

WHAT P.C. PHRASE CORRECTIONS CAN
YOU THINK OF ?

NOT TO WORRY LADIES
the men's list is to follow.

Read More......

Illuminating the Memories

My Pop made this display cabinet for my Mom
many years ago but he never got around to
putting any lighting in it.

Sunday I went to Wal Mart and bought a 12'

rope light, I only had to drill one hole in the

back for the power cord and it came with mounting

clips so I ran it around the inside edge or the door. The first shelf from the bottom is full of

memories of my Pop, the next shelf up is

memories of Mom. The rest is just miscellaneous stuff.

Read More......

HTML CODE

Now this is HTML code I can wrap my lips...
uh I mean head around!

I wonder if I could paste a dick HTML code

between her HTML code, heh heh.

Read More......

WHAT'S THE POINT !

In my opinion this totally voids the concept
of a drive thru.

If I wanted to park I'd already be inside at

the counter you fucktards !

Read More......

MOTHER EARTH ?

Do ya think this is why the aliens keep sneakin
on and off the planet ?

Kinda like slippin in and out the back door at
a whore house !

Are earth quakes really mother earth
having orgasms ?

Read More......

BEER, HOOKERS & TATTOO'S

The federal government is sending each and
every one of us a $600 rebate.

If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money
will go to China.

If we spend it on gasoline, it will go to the Arabs.

If we purchase a computer, it will go to India.

If we purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to
Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.

If we purchase a good car, it will go to Japan.

If we purchase useless crap, it will go to Taiwan.

None of it will help the American economy.

The only way to keep that money here at
home is to buy prostitutes, beer, and tattoos,
since these are the only products still
produced in the USA.

Thank you for your help & please
support the USA.

So get shitfaced, always use a condom
and choose your Tattoo's wisely America !

Read More......

Won't you save the Duckling's ?

Read More......

Thirsty ?

I don't think I would ever mistake this for a
drinking fountain...I have however used a few
of them back in my 20's for bar hoppin barf
buckets, aah the good ole days . Heh heh

Read More......

INTERNET TRASH

Last night while browsing the net looking at
Trucks (yes really at trucks) I clicked on a link
and guess what?

A porn site popped up and would not let me exit,

no matter what I did it would not let me exit.

Then within seconds a warning popped up saying

my computer was infected with a virus, AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGG!!!

I immediately shut down and restarted in safe

mode and ran my anti virus and other clean up

programs, I think I might be OK but I don't know yet for sure.

Now, though I know they will never read this ,

a few words to the people responsible for Internet virus's.

You low life cock sucking,

mother fucking, pig dick licking,

horse ass eating, goat ass fucking,

camel piss drinking less than worthless

piece's of shit.

If I could find you and prove beyond

doubt that you are responsible for

putting virus's on the web I would

KILL YOU

without even the spark of a second

thought for your kind is truly a waste

of skin and oxygen, you do not

deserve to live !!!

I don't know what could possibly make

someone create and spread virus's on the net

to fuck with people, I just don't understand it !

Sorry for the seriousness folks but I just had

to get that off my chest.

Shit Bags my readers would like

included in the KILL list...

The Stinker adds - email Spammers & Telemarketers... Good call Bud.

Claire adds - Dirty Twatting Wankers...

Yeah dirty twats gotta go.

Heather adds - Juvie Jackoffs...

Trouble Makin Punks .

Read More......