Trukindogs Den

GOD BLESS AMERICA

2011-05-02T17:14:00.003-07:00

The Evil Osama Bin Laden
IS DEAD !!!

GOD BLESS AMERICA & GOD BLESS AMERICAN SOLDIERS !!!

Today is a great day in America.

Jesse & Isis - Jesse & Molly Collie

2011-04-21T19:12:00.002-07:00

The 1st half of this video is Jesse & his little gal pal Isis the last half is from this mornin when we ran into one of his best girlfriends that he hasn't seen in nearly 4 months Molly Collie... she LOVES Jesse !

MY NEW SMART PHONE IS SMARTER THAN ME !

2011-03-27T17:54:00.004-07:00

I got a Motorola Droid smart phone about 2 weeks ago & it's really cool. It does all kinds of stuff including stuff I'll probably never know it can do.

It has a direct link on screen to 2 of my email accounts it displays the temp & current weather conditions for wherever I happen to be & well you get the idea.

It of course has a camera & video recorder, here's where I started to
figure out that it's smarter than I am. It came with a USB cable to plug into my comp. to download the pics & videos...I couldn't figure out how to do it !

So I went back to the phone store & one of the techs. figured it out & I watched as she did it so I could do it on my own & I did. The next thing I had trouble with was the video format, when I downloaded a video
then went to play it on my comp. it would only show in the Quicktime player & not windows media player the prob. being I can't do anything but view it in the Quicktime player so through some research I found out that I could download a free video conversion program & amazingly it's incredibly simple to use so that issue is resolved.

It can even show pics & videos on my TV via wireless connection... I haven't figured that feature out yet. Anyway like I said it does a multitude of stuff but I gotta say I love it & it really does take awesome pics & video. I may post more about it in the future as I learn.

BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN !

2011-03-07T19:45:00.004-07:00

Two weeks ago My Gallbladder & the dime size gallstone in it decided
to try to kill me or at least that's what it felt like. After 10 hrs. of steadily
increasing pain I finally had to take myself to the E.R. at 2 A.M. on 2/19/11 Saturday morning. They quickly diagnosed the problem & doped me up, unfortunately The surgeon was not available until 9 A.M. Sunday, (thank God for Morphine) so that's when they wheeled me into the O.R. and removed the damn thing.

Fortunately with today's modern techniques my recovery only took 2 weeks & today I was able to get back in the saddle & go back to work.

JESSE & MOLLY

2011-03-06T13:39:00.002-07:00

Today was Jesse's 1st Sunday back at the Bark Park since he hurt his leg
about a month ago, here's a short clip of how happy he was to see his
best girlfriend Molly.... and then a little bone action... not that kind of
bone action you pervs !

BELIEVE IT OR NOT

2011-03-05T19:09:00.004-07:00

Well believe it or not I & Jesse are still around. The comments service I was using
decided a while back that they wanted to start charging for their service so I deleted
it from my blog & couldn't find another service to work with my layout/template
until now.

Thanks to The Offended Blogger Chelle B. I now have comments again,
Thank You Chelle !

So if any of my old pals that used to drop by are still out there I'd love to hear
from y'all.

I'M STILL AROUND & JESSE'S B-DAY

2010-07-27T09:49:00.003-07:00

Hiya folks, sorry I've been M I A for the last 6 months.
I've had a lot goin on, 1st was depression from lack of work
then I went back to work for the guy I hated workin for & spent
as much time workin on his trucks as I did drivin em.

6 Weeks ago I got a call from another Co. wanting me to work for
them...I jumped on it, more money & better equipment.

Now about Jesse's Birthday, July 24th was Jesse's 2nd birthday,
he's my best buddy in the whole world, I love him to no end & in
his honor I got this tattoo early this month.

I'm gonna try to post more often now but between work &
spending time with Jesse it's not gonna be on a regular schedule.

P.S. Airman Mom, Thank you for checkin on us & missing us.

WORLDS SHORTEST FAIRYTALE

2010-01-29T14:04:00.003-07:00

Once upon a time a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me" she said "NO"

So the guy rode motorcycles & went fishing & hunting & played golf &
drank loads of Beer & whiskey & had tons of money in the bank & left
the toilet seat up & farted whenever he wanted & LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER !

THE END

SINGLES PRAYERS FOR WOMEN & MEN

2010-01-19T13:21:00.004-07:00

A SINGLE WOMAN'S PRAYER

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome smart & strong,
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call not wait for weeks,
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when I spend won't be annoyed,
He'll open doors & hold my hand,
Massage my feet & help me stand,
Oh send a king to make me queen,
A man who loves to cook & clean,
I pray this man will love no other,
And relish visits with my mother.
AMEN !

A SINGLE MAN'S PRAYER

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with big tits,
who owns a bar on a golf course & loves to send me fishing & drinking,
This doesn't rhyme but I don't give a shit...I just wanna get laid.
AMEN !

Thanks to my pal Laura for this one.

HARD TIMES IN THE DEN

2009-12-21T18:51:00.004-07:00

Hey folks, just poppin in to say things have not been goin well here at The Den.
I got laid off work 11/20/09 and am still laid off.

In the first week of Dec. I had it out with the neighbors about the MULTITUDE of
cats they have both indoors & outside & the gagging STENCH that blasts out from their Apt. every time they open their door and when they leave the door open AND the fact that I had to take Jesse to the Vet to get medicine for a Ringworm !
Ringworm by the way is a fungus that comes EXCLUSIVELY from cats (ask any vet). I have nothing in general against cats but there is no good reason for anyone to have over 15 cats in a 2 bedroom apt. & over 10, plus neighborhood strays outside that they feed every night.

Well it pissed them off that I expressed myself about the whole disgusting mess & that I feel I have the right to breath without gagging so they lodged a complaint to my
landlord about the fence I put up for Jesse's yard saying I crossed the city easement.
My landlord by the way had no problem with me puttin up the fence & in fact said it & the grass was a nice improvement but until they verify the property line I had to take the fence down. So now Jesse doesn't have his big secure grassy yard to run & play
in. I have to put him on his leash & he just can't really enjoy himself.

Anyway Things here at The Den SUCK right now.

THE PROJECT / GRASS FOR JESSE part 3

2009-11-16T18:38:00.006-07:00

Here it was time for the first mow.

And here is after the first mow.

We have an uninvited homesteader, a damn Gopher ! Ya can't see his hole cause Jesse was rootin around & pawin at it.

Still have a few finishin touches to do this weekend but here's a video of Jesse lovin his grass.

THE PROJECT / GRASS FOR JESSE part 2

2009-11-08T06:47:00.007-07:00

Here I have spread the grass seed, covered it with fertilizer "cow shit" & begun watering.

7 Days later the grass had begun to sprout up.

At this point I began lookin around for a good used lawn mower & boy did I get lucky I found this barely used like new TROY-BILT mower & Homelite weedeater for $50 ! The guy only had a 4'X8' patch of grass so he went electric & just wanted to get these out of his garage.

After two & a half weeks the grass was spreadin out nicely.

Next - The first mow & an uninvited homesteader

THE PROJECT / GRASS FOR JESSE part 1

2009-11-01T08:47:00.009-07:00

About Sept. 2nd or 3rd I got to bring home 50 tons of free clean fill dirt to put in Jesse's yard so I could plant him a yard full of soft green grass. I had already started movin the dirt here before I realized I needed to take pics. & document the project.

Here I've started movin the dirt into the yard with just a wheelbarrow & shovel & realized this project is gonna take a while to complete.

I've got the yard covered now & have raked up all the dirt clods for removal.

Finally I have the dirt spread as evenly as I could with just a rake & shovel.

Next will be the planting.

JESSE'S FIRST CAMPING TRIP

2009-10-28T10:44:00.007-07:00

Hey everyone, sorry I've been MIA all month but I've had alot goin on.
Like this last weekends hunting trip, actually it was from last Thursday
evening thru Monday afternoon. It was Jesse's first trip to the woods &
he loved it, he got to stay in camp & play with his cousins while I went out
& sat quietly hunkered down by a big bush sittin on rocks (my ass is still sore)
& I never got my Deer. Anyway here are some pics of Jesse's first campin trip.

Pic. 1- Checkin out the woods behind camp.
Pic. 2- Pickin a spot he feels needs a bit of moisture...you know...a spot to PEE !
Pic. 3- Watchin daddy get dressed at 4:30 A.M. to go sit on cold hard rocks &
pray for a Deer to show up...so I could kill & eat him.
Pic. 4- At 4:45 bein the smartest guy in camp & goin back to sleep.

Poke the Pics to biggie size em.

THE WEEKEND JAM #52 STEVE WINWOOD/BACK IN THE HIGH LIFE

2009-10-03T05:49:00.003-07:00

I hope Steve takes us all with him !

A TRUCKERS POEM

2009-09-28T13:52:00.003-07:00

Ode to anonymous rush hour Boobage.

Poke the pic to biggie size em!

I love Boobies,
big or small,
on any gal,
short or tall.

So ladies driving,
on your way to work,
show some cleavage & give me a perk,
you'll never ever see me again,
so slip a nipple & give me a grin.

Not so much you make me wreck,
but show me something what the heck.

An original poem by Trukindog.

THE WEEKEND JAM #51 THIN LIZZY/THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN

2009-09-25T20:37:00.004-07:00

Now this is a Classic Rock 70's Jam, ENJOY !

JUST A DOG

2009-09-21T08:39:00.004-07:00

From time to time, people tell me, "lighten up, it's just a dog" or "That's a lot of money just for a dog". They don't understand the distance traveled, the time spent or the costs involved for "just a dog".

Some of my proudest moments have come about with "just a dog".
Many hours have passed and my only company was "just a dog",
but I didn't once feel slighted.

Some of my saddest moments have been brought about by "just a dog"
and in those days of darkness, the gentle touch of "just a dog" gave me comfort
and reason to overcome the day.

If you too, think it's "just a dog", then you will probably understand
phrases like "just a friend", "just a sunrise", or "just a promise".
"Just a dog" brings into my life the very essence of friendship, trust, and pure unbridled joy.

"Just a dog" brings out the compassion and patience that makes me a better
person. Because of "just a dog" I will rise early, take long walks and look longingly to the future.

So for me and folks like me, it's not "just a dog", but an embodiment of all the hopes
and dreams of the future, the fond memories of the past, and the pure joy of the moment.

"Just a dog" brings out what's good in me and diverts my thoughts away from
myself and the worries of the day. I hope that someday they can understand that it's not "just a dog", but the thing that gives me humanity and keeps me from being
"just a man".

So the next time you hear the phrase "just a dog", just smile because they
"just don't understand".

copyright Roca 2006

THE WEEKEND JAM #50 A 2 FER FROM THE 70'S/BLUE OYSTER CULT & NAZARETH

2009-09-18T13:56:00.003-07:00

I love the old Godzilla movies, what can I say.

Here's Nazareth from 1976 , dig the singers Bitchin shoes man!

AN ARCHERY QUESTION !

2009-09-14T09:03:00.006-07:00

Question:

What kind of Bow is this ?

Answer:

Who gives a shit !

THE WEEKEND JAM #49 STEALERS WHEEL/STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU

2009-09-11T18:01:00.001-07:00

TRANSLATIONS

2009-09-02T20:20:00.002-07:00

DICTIONARY FOR MEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish...........................................................50+
Adventurous.................................................Will sleep with anyone
Athletic..........................................................Has a job
Average looking............................................Beer Belly
Handsome....................................................Gray hair
Emotionally secure.......................................Drinks alot
Contagious smile..........................................Really drinks alot
Friendship first.............................................I'll use a condom
Fun...............................................................See contagious smile
Open minded................................................Will your girlfriend join us?
Outgoing......................................................See contagious smile
Passionate....................................................doesn't mind foreplay first
Wants soul mate...........................................I need a live in maid!

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish.........................................................49
Adventurous..........................................Slept with everyone
Athletic......................................................No Tits
Average looking........................................Homely
Beautiful.....................................................Pathological liar
Emotionally secure....................................Does prescription pills
Contagious smile........................................Does any pills
Feminist.....................................................Butch
Free spirit...................................................Junkie
Friendship first...........................................Trying to kick the slutty habit
Fun.............................................................Annoying
New age......................................................Body hair everywhere
Open minded..............................................Desperate
Outgoing....................................................Loud & embarrassing
Passionate.................................................Sloppy drunk
Professional...............................................Bitch
Wants soul mate.........................................Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1 Yes = No
2 No = Yes
3 Maybe = No
4 We need = I want
5 I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6 We need to talk = Your in trouble
7 Sure go ahead = You better not
8 Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
9 I am not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron
10 Your very attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about ?

MEN'S ENGLISH
1 I am hungry = I am hungry
2 I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3 I am tired = I am tired
4 Nice dress = Nice cleavage !
5 I love you = Lets have sex now
6 I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7 May I have this dance = I want to have sex with you!
8 Can I call you sometime? = I want to have sex with you!
9 Do you want to go to a movie? = I want to have sex with you!
10 Can I take you out to dinner? = I want to have sex with you!
11 Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm Gay!

WEEKEND JAM#48 YES / OWNER OF A LONELY HEART

2009-08-28T12:50:00.003-07:00

I think this is the original MteaV video.

THE ORIGIN OF TWITTER

2009-08-24T10:02:00.003-07:00

Thanks to @mitzisturgill for solving this mystery!

WEEKEND JAM #47 BARENAKED LADIES/ONE WEEK

2009-08-21T02:23:00.002-07:00

WEEKEND JAM #46 ZZ TOP/PINCUSHION

2009-08-15T06:22:00.003-07:00

My favorite line in this song is "I let my ya ya down & I got penetrated" it reminds
me to never let m ya ya down !

FALLEN ANGELS

2009-08-10T00:01:00.001-07:00

2 prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car
which said: Two Prostitutes - $50.00.

A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have
to remove the sign or go to jail.

Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: 'JESUS SAVES.'

One of the girls asked the officer, 'How come you don't stop them?!'

'Well, that's a little different,' the officer smiled, 'Their sign pertains
to religion.'

The following day the same police officer noticed the same two hookers
driving around with a large sign on their car.

He figured he had an easy arrest until he read their new sign:

Two Fallen Angels
Seeking Peter --$50

WEEKEND JAM # 45 CLIMAX BLUES BAND COULDN'T GET IT RIGHT

2009-08-07T20:23:00.004-07:00

OK people get ready for a late 70's flashback, sit back twist one & spark it up !

GRAB SOMETHIN & HANG ON

2009-08-05T14:30:00.002-07:00

You should know before watchin this a tire cleaner is basically
a cattle guard on steroids .

DIRTY DOG !

2009-08-03T18:12:00.003-07:00

This dogs bone AINT for chewin !

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANA !

2009-07-31T00:03:00.000-07:00

LIFE IS GOOD
Today is my dear friend Dana's 60th Birthday, Happy Birthday Darlin!
Everyone please stop by her place and wish her a
Super Happy Birthday.

MAN'S DESIRE

2009-07-13T19:42:00.002-07:00

A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly
the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said,

'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant
you one desire. The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so
I can ride over anytime I want.'

The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous
challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching
the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I
can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for "worldly things".

Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly
help mankind.'

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'Lord,
I wish that I and all men could understand women;

I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she
gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means
when she says nothings wrong, why she snaps and complains when
I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.'

The Lord replied,

"Do you want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
.

THE NEW FERRARI !

2009-07-07T21:05:00.015-07:00

The new Ferrari: this is what it looks like......

AND THIS IS WHAT IT DOES:

POKE THE PIC. TO BIGGIE SIZE IT!

(Apparently, it melts the elastic, even when it’s parked!)

Thanks Coffeypot

PATENT #2196914

2009-07-05T18:59:00.005-07:00

I was in the tire shop one day last week & while waiting
for them to to get to my truck I found this ad for Mothers
Waxes & Polishes in one of their magazines...
I think they hit the nail on the head.

POKE THE PIC. TO BIGGIE SIZE & READ IT!

THE WEEKEND JAM #44 THE UNITED STATES NATIONAL ANTHEM - HAPPY 4th OF JULY

2009-07-03T18:11:00.002-07:00

ONE OF THOSE DAYS !

2009-07-02T06:42:00.003-07:00

These contractors are installing the steel pillars in concrete to stop vehicles from parking on the pavement outside a Sports Bar downtown. They are now in the process of cleaning up at the end of the day and anxious to go home.

How long do you think it will be before they realize where they parked?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HOOSIERGIRL !!!

2009-07-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

Today is HoosierGirl's 45 th Birthday, Happy Birthday Darlin.
I swiped this picture from your Flickr page...don't sue me J.

HoosierGirl "AKA" J. is my good friend & blog buddy, she's also a Teacher
and a Mom. Everyone should drop in at The Coffee Table and wish her a
Happy Birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY & HAVE A GREAT DAY HOOSIERGIRLY !

HOW TO JOIN THE MILE HIGH CLUB

2009-06-29T07:45:00.002-07:00

I've always wanted to join this club...anyone have some airline
tickets you wouldn't mind donating to the cause ?

EMBED-How To Join The Mile High Club - Watch more free videos

THE WEEKEND JAM #43 PHIL COLLINS/ I DON'T CARE ANYMORE

2009-06-27T08:44:00.001-07:00

KARMA I HOPE YOUR PAYING ATTENTION

2009-06-25T09:04:00.009-07:00

A little over 5 years ago my EX & I got a phone call from a friend we knew when we lived in Co. lets call her Linda, she asked if she could come stay with us for a little while to get a fresh start, she had a drug problem.

We decided it would be OK. The next day she called to say that "they" had bought "their" bus tickets and what time "they" would arrive ....it was at this point I learned what my EX knew from the start, that her boy friend, we'll call him Dan was comin with her. I had met Dan once before and he seemed like a decent guy so I didn't flip out to much. I just made it clear that there would be NO DRUGS in my house.

Dan works in concrete construction & got a job the day they got here, I was impressed. Over the next 6 months he had worked for at least 15 different company's , I was no longer impressed. About that time I came home from work a couple of hrs. earlier than expected one day only to walk in and find them smokin pot and doin crystal meth.

I told them to grab their shit and GET THE FUCK OUT and they did (side note - this is where my EX started to become my EX).

Now jump ahead about 7 months and we happen to run into them, they apologized & admitted how wrong they were for what they did & informed us that Linda was then about 2 months preggo and that they had been clean since they found out and they were doin OK.

So we kept in touch once in a while over the last 4 years.

Now skip ahead to about 9 days ago when I got a phone call from Linda, she was crying so much I couldn't understand anything she was sayin so I had her put Dan on the phone. Remember that Dan works construction, Linda "wont" work & they had fallen on pretty hard times since the economy went belly up & had been stayin with some people "tweekers" who had suddenly freaked out on them and the guy attacked Dan and told them to get out. Dan explained that they only needed a place to stay for about a week while they made arrangements to get back to Co. to his family.

At this point I would have said sorry dude the last time I offered you a helpin hand you bit it, but now they have a 4 year old child & even I wouldn't condemn a little child to livin on the street in the AZ. heat.

So I went and picked them up and on the way home I bought them a case of cheap Beer (their choice) thinkin they would make it last the week....it was gone in less than 2 days, this is where I learned that Linda had replaced her drug habit with alcoholism.

Linda at only 4' 10" after only 2 Beers begins to become a mumbling babbling bordering on psychotic loony tune but continues drinkin Beer after Beer, to suggest she stop triggers a nonstop raving rant...no thanks I'll just ignore her. To keep Linda happy Dan found someone to buy them more Beer in exchange for double the cost in food stamps, very sad I know.

Dan is now a stand up guy tryin to make a livin for his family but more so for his 4 year old son, we'll call him RJ. I don't have the Patience to be around small kids for extended periods of time but RJ I'm glad to say was an exception, in spite of his mother he is a very well behaved little boy & even had me smilin & laughin with him most of the time. Linda is like an anchor around Dan's neck holdin him back, but she's RJ's mother so he's tryin his best to make it work.

Over the last week Dan has been workin it out with a church to help them get bus tickets back to Co. and after getting the funds I took them to the bus station yesterday afternoon, when Dan went to the counter to buy the tickets they told him he was $103 short. I watched the look of shock, disbelief & desperation wash over his face.

I told him to just sit tight and I would be back shortly, I went to the bank and drew $120 out of my rent money and straight back to the bus station so they could get the tickets, I told him to keep the change so he could buy RJ some cold drinks & snacks on the trip. Dan was amazed and so very grateful, I did this partly because at this time Dan was utterly lost for what to do but mostly I must confess because there was NO WAY I was bringin that little drunk psycho loon Linda back to my house for another week while Dan tried to get the church to cough up another $103 bucks. The church by the way were the ones who called Greyhound for the ticket cost's & assured Dan they would cover the full cost.

I wish them the best luck but now they're Dan's cousins problem and Jesse & I have our house back.

Karma I hope your payin attention.

SPORTSMAN'S DOUBLE

2009-06-21T20:23:00.003-07:00

Sometimes your lucky day isn't !

Poke the pic to biggie size it.

THE WEEKEND JAM #42 HUEY LEWIS & THE NEWS/ I WANT A NEW DRUG

2009-06-19T16:02:00.003-07:00

Check out the chicks in the crowd...I'm pretty sure this
is a concert in Germany !

THE NEW A-R 16D LOCK & LOAD

2009-06-14T19:15:00.006-07:00

I don't know why the picture keeps disappearing but if ya Google it it's really cool.
The New DeWALT A-R 16D

It can drive a 16-D nail through a 2 X4 at 200 yards.
This makes construction a breeze, you can sit in your lawn chair and
build a fence. Just get your wife to hold the fence boards in place
while you sit back, relax with a cold Beer and when she has the boards
in the right place just fire away.

With the hundred round magazine you can build the fence with minimum
reloading. After a day of fence building with the new DeWalt rapid fire
nail gun, the wife will not ask you to build or fix anything else, probably
ever again.

THE WEEKEND JAM #41 REO SPEEDWAGON/TAKE IT ON THE RUN

2009-06-12T19:51:00.004-07:00

I gotta dedicate this one to my ex who disappeared Sept. 5th 2006
with my rent & utility money & NO EXPLANATION...it took me a month
to track her down, in North Carolina.

BICYCLES & SWIMMING

2009-06-08T20:41:00.014-07:00

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son how old are you?" "Eight", the boy replied... the man continued "Do you know what these are used for?"

The boy replied "not exactly but they aren't for me, they're for him, he's my brother, he's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim & ride a bike".

Right now he can't do either !

THE WEEKEND JAM #40 WILD CHERRY/PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC WHITE BOY

2009-06-05T15:39:00.004-07:00

No matter where I am or what I'm doin when I hear
this song I gotta move & groove & sing along...it's not pretty!

I FINALLY GOT MINE

2009-06-03T17:16:00.009-07:00

It's every straight mans dream to someday have
his very own hot sexy big tittie pole dancin stripper.

Well I finally got mine, meet Breeze (her stage name of course)

V

V

V

V

V

POKE THE PIC. TO BIGGIE SIZE HER.

JERKIN THE HEAD BETWEEN MY LEGS

2009-05-31T18:46:00.005-07:00

It's not what you think ya perverts....just watch the video

HoosierGirl you asked for more video of Jesse so here ya go darlin.

THE WEEKEND JAM #39 TODD RUNDGREN/BANG ON THE DRUM ALL DAY

2009-05-29T16:41:00.004-07:00

This is how I felt all day today !

MORALITY, IRISH STYLE

2009-05-26T03:06:00.002-07:00

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return her Father cussed her.

"Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?"

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff.... Dad.... I became a prostitute.. ."

"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family."

"OK, Dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a £5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country
club........ ......... ....... (takes a breath)..... ........ and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera and... ..."
"
Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says Dad.

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff.... a prostitute Daddy! Sniff, sniff."

"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old Dad a hug!

THE WEEKEND JAM #38 AC/DC-DIRTY DEEDS DONE DIRT CHEAP

2009-05-22T11:59:00.002-07:00

A DAMNED FINE SERMON

2009-05-20T18:51:00.002-07:00

A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand . He said 'Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine
sermon. Damned good!'

The preacher said, 'Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity.'

The man said, 'I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!'

The preacher said, 'No shit?

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SINGLE WOMEN & SINGLE MEN

2009-05-17T18:36:00.002-07:00

I swear these comic strip guys are watchin me & Jesse!
POKE THE PIC TO BIGGIE SIZE IT

The Duplex by Glenn McCoy

THE WEEKEND JAM #37 HANK JR./COUNTRY BOY CAN SURVIVE & IGGY POP/KING OF THE DOGS

2009-05-15T06:35:00.003-07:00

Be sure to check out both videos this week folks, the Iggy Pop "king of the Dogs" cracks me up.

WHAT IS COURAGE ?

2009-05-13T17:05:00.007-07:00

Is it to fight a bull in a bullfight?

Is it to drive a formula 1 car?

Is it to fly a fighter in combat?

Is it to practice free falling parachuting?

Is it bungee jumping, white water rafting?

Is it to gamble your salary on a coin toss?

Is it to insult the doorman in a bar?

Is it to insult your boss?

Is it to go on a defective ferris wheel?

Bullshit…that's nothing… THIS is COURAGE!!!

MY OFFICE VIEW

2009-05-11T16:49:00.006-07:00

Sometimes the view from my office is pretty sweet !

Guy's & some of you gals, be sure to POKE THE PICS TO BIGGIE SIZE EM.

Summer's comin & we're already in the triple digits for temps. here in the Desert & the hotter it gets the better the view gets outside my office window.
Ohh Yeaaaah GIGIDY !

For those of you who may not know my office is the cab of a Truck.

THE WEEKEND JAM #36 DIRE STRAIGHTS/BROTHERS IN ARMS

2009-05-08T18:45:00.005-07:00

I'd like to dedicate this weekend jam to every U.S. soldier past, present & future,
I thank you all & I salute you for your dedication, devotion, sacrifice & Honor.
This video is best viewed in full screen.

JESSE'S DINNER TABLE

2009-05-03T15:52:00.009-07:00

Well y'all know Jesse is a big boy & the other day I noticed when he was eatin that he reminded me of a Giraffe tryin to eat somethin off the ground so I decided he needed his own dinner table. After checkin a few stores & not findin what I was lookin for I decided to go yard salin this mornin to see if I could find somethin that would be the right height, length & width. After 5 hrs. of yard salin & findin nothin except this work bench (seen here) that a guy gave me for free today I decided to see if I could just build him one. When I got home I went lookin in my storage room and found part of an old shelf, I gathered the shelf 4 legs and 4 decorative top knobs.

I went out back where I knew I had a piece of 1/2 in. plywood & using the shelf piece as a template I cut the base from the plywood & stained it with the darkest stain I had then sealed it with a clear Polycrylic finish, all the necessary pieces for the job are seen here.

Here it is after the base has dried & put together.

Here Jesse's dinner table is in position & set for him when ever he's ready to eat.

Just moments after takin the above pic. Jesse let me know that he is pleased with his new table.

That's my boy & I love him to no end.

THE WEEKEND JAM #35 MEN AT WORK/WHO CAN IT BE NOW

2009-05-01T19:22:00.001-07:00

JESSE'S DOGGY PORT

2009-04-26T12:04:00.017-07:00

Saturday I built Jesse a "Doggy Port" for shade when he's out in the
yard this summer, this is the beginning framework .
POKE THE PICS. TO BIGGIE SIZE EM.

I wrapped one end & the back with some nylon screen I had for additional shade, I can get more screen later for the other end.

Next I put white plastic Lattice all around it for shade & ventilation .

Then I painted the roof with white latex exterior paint to help resist heat absorption & build up inside.
I also lightly spray painted the black screen with white paint for the same reason.

Finally the finished "Doggy Port"
I will before it gets much hotter get more of the nylon screen to finish wrappin it.

Fortunately it will also serve as a place to set drinks "BEER" while pitchin Horseshoes....the tire your wonderin? I happen to know that it's in the unwritten Redneck code that all Redneck dog shelters must have a used tire on top of them.....
plus it serves as an anchor when the wind kicks up.

THE WEEKEND JAM #34 LOVERBOY/LOVIN EVERY MINUTE OF IT

2009-04-24T17:24:00.001-07:00

BIG ASS BUBBLES & 2 NEW RUBBERS

2009-04-22T17:51:00.005-07:00

OK so this post isn't really about Condoms or a stripper named Bubbles but it got your attention huh !

Last Thursday it cost me $670 bucks to get my truck to pass emissions & get the new tag, that's a big chunk a change for me especially since my work has been up & down like a yo yo lately but it had to be done, the tag expired Aug 08...OOOPS.

Anyway Monday on the way to work I noticed a slight shimmy in the front end but didn't give it much thought, I thought maybe it was just the road. Yesterday on the way to work the shimmy was quite a bit worse so when I got to work I investigated the situation only to find that my left front tire had a pair of big ass bubbles in the tread, yep the tire was separating.

When I headed home from work yesterday I went straight to a tire shop thinkin I would just get a couple a new tires if they weren't to expensive, keep in mind the last time I bought tires it was for a mini van & they were only about $45 a piece & that was 5 years ago. Well imagine my surprise when the tire guy said $106 a tire and that is before mount & balance and TAXES !

I politely told him no thanks I'll go see what Discount Tire has. Well Discount Tire beat the other guys price.....by $2...umm yeah that sucked so I decided to just get my spare checked out and put it on....yep another surprise, due to a missing piece a piece that I never got when I bought the truck I could not lower my spare tire. Yeah now I'm gettin frustrated so I head on home and had to cut the cable that holds the spare and guess what...it was flat! It's a new tire but over the years it just lost air, so I head back to Discount Tire to get it checked out so I could put it on.

Now for the GOOD NEWS

I had talked to my nephew earlier in the day on an unrelated issue so while driving back to the tire shop I called him to see if he had messed with that other issue and in conversation told him what was goin on with my tires and where I was going, he told me one of his good friends works there as an assistant manager so he gave me his name and he called him to let him know I was coming, when I got there I gave my spare to one of the shop guys and went inside to talk to The Man. Thanks to my nephew's friend "The Man" I got my spare fixed, the rear tires rotated to the front and two brand new "RUBBERS" tires mounted & balanced on the rear for....are ya ready for it...............$200 even! WOO HOO!
I saved $175 bucks ! Yeah my nephew is a great kid & a fine young man..................
I owe him one.

FIRE PROTECTION !

2009-04-19T10:42:00.004-07:00

A man and his wife, moved back home to North Carolina , from Texas .

The wife had a wooden leg and to insure it in Texas cost $2,000.00 a year!!

When they arrived in North Carolina , they went to an insurance Agency to see how much it would cost to insure the leg. The agent looked it up on the computer and said to the couple, '$39.00.'

The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap here in North Carolina to insure it, because it cost him $2,000.00 in Texas !!!!

The agent turned his computer screen to the couple and said, 'Well, here it is on the screen, it says: Any wooden structure, with a sprinkler system over it, is $39.00. You just have to know how to describe it!

YOU CAN LAUGH NOW, UNLESS YOU HAVE TO READ IT TWICE

THE WEEKEND JAM #33 SAWYER BROWN/SOME GIRLS DO

2009-04-17T12:44:00.001-07:00

ON THE FIRST DAY GOD CREATED THE DOG....

2009-04-15T19:48:00.007-07:00

POKE THE PIC TO BIGGIE SIZE JESSE IN B&W

On the first day. God created the dog and said:

'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone
who comes in or walks past. For this,
I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking.
How about only ten years and I'll give you back
the other ten?'

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh.
For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years?
That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give
you back ten like the Dog did?'

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long
and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to
support the farmer's family. For this,
I will give you a life span of sixty years.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to
live for sixty years. How about twenty and
I'll give back the other forty?'

And God agreed again

On the fourth day, God created man and said:

'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life.
For this, I'll give you twenty years.'

But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly
give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten
the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back;
that makes eighty,
okay?'

'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep,
play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we
slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten
years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.
And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch
and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.
I'm doing it as a public service.

Author unknown.

DOES THIS LOOK RIGHT TO YOU ?

2009-04-14T19:47:00.005-07:00

Is there something wrong with my blog ?

Is the post text on the left side where it belongs or on the
right over my wolf's head ? Is my side bar missin ?

It looks OK to me but Dana says it's showin up screwy
for her when she drops by.

Please let me know in comments or by email, tell me if it
appears normal to you or if it's wonky.

Thanks everyone.

AN OBITUARY PRINTED IN THE LONDON TIMES.

2009-04-12T15:09:00.005-07:00

'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend.

'Common Sense',
who has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was, since his
birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such
valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair;
and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies
(don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable
strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well
intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment
for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for
using mouth wash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked
teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed
to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to
get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an
Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when
a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became
businesses; and criminals received better treatment than
their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend
yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar
could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a
woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee
was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly
awarded a huge settlement .

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents,
Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion, his daughter,
Responsibility, his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights;
I Want It Now; Someone Else Is To Blame; I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

THE WEEKEND JAM #32 CHARLIE DANIELS/UNEASY RIDER & UNEASY RIDER 88

2009-04-10T10:48:00.005-07:00

Charlie Daniels has always been one of my
all time favorites, it's a damn shame that radio
stations seem to think The Devil went down to
Georgia is the only song he ever recorded.

OLD COWBOY ?

2009-04-08T11:59:00.004-07:00

Ya think you have lived to be 71 and know who

you are, then along comes someone and blows

it all to the dickens........

An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and

ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee,

a young woman sat down next to him. She turned

to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'

He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking

colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences,

pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves,

cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors,

and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.

'She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day

thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the

morning, I think about women. When I shower,

I think about women. When I watch TV, I think

about women I even think about women when I eat.

It seems that everything makes me think of women.'

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later,

a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy

and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?' He replied, '

I always thought I was....

but I just found out that I'm a lesbian.'

AGEING...COMPUTERS vs PEOPLE

2009-04-06T09:55:00.006-07:00

Two weeks ago my sisters & I finally went through
the last of my mom's boxes & photo albums and I
got some old & VERY OLD family photo's.

I just spent the last few days SLOWLY recovering
files from my old computer & I'm still in the process
of gettin this new one set up the way I want it &
I got to thinkin about how people & computers
age.

~Computers~ if your lucky and or have the very
BEST security programs on them and keep them
healthy & updated with the latest developments
can have a life span of a few years or so but they
too still slow down with age & don't look or perform
near as good as the younger "newer" models.

Computer models when they first come out are
kind of odd lookin at first. But with computers
their looks don't change as they age ya just get
used to they're appearance & when they
"pass away" they still look the same but somehow
just don't look as good as they did years ago.

~People~ when they first come out are kind of odd
lookin to but as we age we get new developments,
get bigger & for most better lookin & we try to stay
healthy and can have a very long life span. But then
we also start slowin down & don't perform as well
as we used to & people when we "pass away" at
the end of that long life span we DON'T look as
good as we did years ago.

So I think I'd have to conclude that the biggest
differences would be that computers never change
in appearance & have a relatively short life span,
people have a longer life span but are almost
always changing in appearance.

Here's an example.
The first picture is me at age 47, the second picture
is me at about age 2... wasn't I a cute little shit
when I was new!
POKE THE PICS. TO BIGGIE SIZE EM.

JESSE MEETS HIS NEW DOCTOR

2009-04-02T21:27:00.007-07:00

Jesse has been rubbin and scratchin his
eye's lately and makin his tear ducts RAW
and red and sometimes bleed from the
scratchin so today I took him to see his
new Veterinarian Dr. Roach.

Dr. Roach says it looks like Jesse has
the canine version of hayfever so she
prescribed some ointment to relieve
his symtems & sooth his itchy eyes.

Dr. Roach is SOOOOO COOOOOOOL !
Here she is sittin on the floor playin
with Jess & lettin him give her a big
wet kiss. Oh & her professional opinion
is that Jesse is mostly Doberman W/
a little Rottweiler & mabey a little German
Shephard, but as far as I'm concerned
when it comes right down to it, it doesn't
matter what his breed is as long as he's
healthy & loves his daddy.

P.S. Jesse weighs 72.4 pounds now &

Dr. Roach says he's likely not to get any

taller but he will get a little more body

bulk, puttin him in the neighborhood of

80 to 85 pounds.

CIGARETTES & TAMPONS

2009-03-29T20:55:00.004-07:00

A man walks into a pharmacy and
wanders up & down the aisles.

The sales girl notices him and asks
him if she can help him.

He answers that he is looking for
tampons for his wife.

She directs him down the correct aisle.

A few minutes later, he deposits a huge
bag of cotton balls and a ball of string
on the counter.

She says, confused,
Sir, I thought you were looking for
some tampons for your wife?

He answers,
You see, it's like this, yesterday,
I sent my wife to the store to get
me a carton of cigarettes,
and she came back with a tin of
tobacco and some rolling papers;
cause it's sooo-ooo--oo- ooo much cheaper.

So, I figure if I have to roll my own ..........
so does she!

THE WEEKEND JAM #31 MOLLY HATCHET/WHISKEY MAN

2009-03-27T20:00:00.004-07:00

Don't ya just love VIKING music...heh heh

JESSE'S LIGHTS

2009-03-25T19:54:00.007-07:00

I put lights up for Jesse's yard so I don't
have to tote a flashlight when I take him
out to potty or to play after dark, it's much
more fun playin with him with two hands.

Pics. 1&2 I mounted the lights mear the peak
of the roof & ran a 50' cord down to the
front porch light so they work on the same
switch.
Pic 3 is a view from the roof this evening.
Pic 4 is the ground level view this evening.
POKE THE PICS TO BIGGIE SIZE EM

BEFORE REMOTE CONTROLS

2009-03-22T20:27:00.005-07:00

(Under age 40? You may not understand.)

You could hardly see for all the snow,
Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go.
Pull a chair up to the TV set,

Remote control wasn't invented yet.

My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread

mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife

and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning.

My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter

AND I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school

sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown

paper bag, not in ice-pack coolers,

but I can't remember getting e.coli .

Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in

the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring),

The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone

in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system.

We all took PE .. and risked permanent injury

with a pair of high top Ked's instead of having

cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles

and built in light reflectors. I can't recall any injuries

but they must have happened because they tell us how

much safer we are now.

Flunking PE was not an option .. even for stupid kids!

All you had to do was participate & do your best.

Speaking of school, we all said The Pledge of Allegiance

(the under God version) and staying in detention after

school caught all sorts of negative attention.

We must have had horribly damaged psyches.

What an archaic health system we had then.

Remember school nurses?

Ours wore a white nurses uniform.

We had to accomplish something before we were

allowed to be proud of ourselves.

I just can't recall how bored we were without

computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or

270 digital TV cable stations...wait that's because

we went OUTSIDE to play with our friends in person.

Oh yeah ... and where was the Benadryl and

sterilization kit when I got that bee sting?

I could have been killed!

We played 'king of the hill' on piles of gravel left on

vacant construction sites, and when we got hurt,

Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of Mercurochrome

(kids liked it better because it didn't sting like iodine did)

and then we got our butt spanked.

Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a

10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics, and then

Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving

a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.

We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either because

if we did, we got our butt spanked there and then we

got butt spanked again when we got home.

I recall my best friend coming over and doing tricks on

the front stoop, just before he fell off. Little did his Mom

know that she could have owned our house.

Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for being

such a goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck.

To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been

told that they were from a dysfunctional family..

How could we possibly have known that?

I guess we needed to get into group therapy and anger

management classes? We were obviously so duped by

so many societal ills that we didn't even notice that

the entire country needed to be taking Prozac!

How did we ever survive?

TO ALL OF US WHO SHARED THIS ERA,

I WOULDN'T HAVE TRADED IT FOR ANYTHING.

AND TO ALL WHO DIDN'T.

SORRY FOR WHAT YOU MISSED.

THE WEEKEND JAM #30 KANSAS/WAYWARD SON & FAMILY GUY/ALL CARTOONS ARE FUCKIN DICK'S

2009-03-20T15:14:00.005-07:00

Blondefabulous just turned me on to this & it's soooo
fruckin hilarious. The Family Guy cast singing
ALL CARTOONS ARE FUCKIN DICK'S !

I saw Kansas at the Veterans Memorial
Coliseum in Phx. Dec. 13th 1980 , I was 19 ,
I was drunk...and stoned.....but I'm
certain I had a great time !

A PLAIN BROWN WRAPPER

2009-03-19T06:53:00.004-07:00

UPS has been around much longer than DHL or FedEx.
But in these tough times reliability, dependability &
experience just aren't enough in the dog eat dog world
of package delivery. So UPS has hired a new fleet of
young energetic & enthusiastic Drivers in hopes of
keepin their current customers & attracting new ones.

SOMEONE PLEASE SEND ME A PACKAGE VIA
UPS ! The best packages come in a plain brown wrapper!
"POKE" THE PIC. TO BIGGIE SIZE IT

JESSE'S FENCE

2009-03-15T18:41:00.016-07:00

The following pictures from top to bottom are my
fence project to give Jesse a large play & exercise
area.
Pic. 1 The beginning
Pics. 2, 3 & 4 The base trench is dug & the gate & center
posts are set & waitin for the crete to dry.
Pic. 5 The gate latch/fence end post is set & crete dryin,
the gate is hung & waiting for height adjustment
Pic. 6 The Boss/Jesse inspecting my work.
Pic. 7 The first section of fence is up & secure.
Pic. 8 The second section of fence is up & secure.
Pics. 9 & 10 The job is done !
Now Jesse has a big safe place to play & exercise.
POKE THE PICS. TO BIGGIE SIZE EM.

THE WEEKEND JAM #29 TRACY BYRD THE TRUTH ABOUT MEN

2009-03-13T21:01:00.003-07:00

Yep that's right gals for the most part we just
tell ya what ya want to hear when ya want to
hear it. Why ? you ask...cause you got the T. A. & P.
and we want ya to share em with us.

AT WITS END!

2009-03-12T07:57:00.006-07:00

A man owned a small farm in south central Alabama.

The Alabama State Wage & Hour Department claimed

he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent

an agent out to interview him.

'I need a list of your employees and how much you

pay them,' demanded the agent.

'Well,' replied the farmer, 'there's my farm hand

who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a

week plus free room and board.

The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay

her $150 per week plus free room and board.

Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours

every day and does about 90% of all the work around

here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own

room and board, and I buy him a bottle of scotch

every Saturday night.

He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.'

'That's the guy I want to talk to...the half-wit,'

said the agent.

'You are,' replied the farmer.

STIMULATE ME !

2009-03-08T15:13:00.004-07:00

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence
at the White House. One is from Chicago , another
is from Tennessee , and the third is from Minnesota.

All three go with a White House official to examine
the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape
measure and does some measuring, Then works
some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure
the job Will run about $900: $400 for materials,
$400 for my crew and $100 profit For me."

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring
and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700:
$300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 Profit
for me."

The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure,
but leans over to the White House official and whispers,
"$2,700." The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't
even measure like the other Guys! How did you come
up with such a high figure?"

The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me,
$1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee
to fix the fence." " Done!" replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the new
stimulus plan will work.

WEEKEND JAM #28 THE TALKING HEADS/ONCE IN A LIFETIME

2009-03-06T19:29:00.004-07:00

David Byrne is a goofy ass lookin dude & sometimes
quite spastic but a hell of a performer.
I don't think they could have picked a better name
than THE TALKING HEADS!

A BIRTHDAY QUESTION

2009-03-04T19:04:00.004-07:00

Isn't the day your born actually your

1st birthday?

So in that train of thought...Tuesday I turned 48 yrs.
old but it was actually my 49th birthday.

Am I wrong?

QUALITY CONTROL !

2009-03-01T16:30:00.000-07:00

Pretty much every product made goes thru a quality
control check before it leaves the factory for shipping
and sale.

Sometimes the QC check is merely a visual inspection
sometimes the product is physically tested.

For example, clothing is looked over by inspector 42
or 13 or 8...well you get the picture. However there
are products like cordless drills, toaster ovens or
bicycles and such that have to be physically tested.

Now for the most part bein a QC inspector is probably
a pretty easy & sweet job but there is one QC inspector
position I would NOT like to have.

I'm sure your all familiar with the Johnson & Johnson Co.
Well the next time you think you have a lousy job
think about this. At J&J they make thermometers, a
variety of thermometers and each one is tested the
old fashioned way including the following.

Rectal Thermometers !
Included in the retail sale packaging with each
Rectal Thermometer is the care and use literature
and in that literature is this statement...

"Every Rectal Thermometer made by
Johnson & Johnson is personally
tested and then sanitized."

Yep there are folks at J&J gettin poked in the ole
poop chute 20 or 30 times a day in the name of QC.

So the next time your back hurts from sittin at your
desk or your hands hurt from grippin tools all day
think about those poor folks at J&J and I bet your
aches and pains wont seem to hurt quite so bad.

THE WEEKEND JAM #27 EAGLES LIVE / HOTEL CALIFORNIA

2009-02-27T15:05:00.005-07:00

A timeless classic of Classic Rock!
Plus the horn at the beginning makes me want Tequila.

WET WILD RODEO SEX

2009-02-24T20:46:00.003-07:00

My dear cyber friend Laura AKA JuventusGirl was
late to work this mornin so I offered to write for her
an excuse letter. I think it could even get her some
special treatment in her work place, what do y'all think?

Dear John - (Laura's Boss)

Please excuse Laura's tardiness yesterday 2/24/09.
It was entirely my fault, I kept her up until 5:30 A.M.
having WET WILD RODEO SEX and you know how
exhausting that can be...well maybe you don't
I don't know you.

At any rate you may notice Laura's typing may suffer
in the next few days due to the new calluses on her
hands and fingers from holding on to the leather of
the bridle & saddle...don't worry the spurs were only
used on me.

Also if any loud popping or snapping noises occur
in the office don't be alarmed if Laura suddenly yells
YEE HAW her eyes glaze over and she begins to drool...
it's just a flash back to the Bull Whip, she'll snap out
of it shortly...I still can't sit down.

I'm sure you will be understanding and allow Laura
the time she needs to recover.

Thank you

Sincerely
Laura's devoted love Buckaroo Trukindog

P.S.
The saddle is NOT the reason she's walkin bow legged.
heh heh heh

KEEPIN JESSE SAFE

2009-02-22T15:23:00.012-07:00

Last Thursday mornin when I took Jesse out to pee
there were a bunch of vehicle's in the field next to us
and a guy keepin an eye on them, of course Jesse
wanted to go say hi so he jumped up on this spot
of fence that was saggin from the weight of this
nasty ass milkweed vine shit. When I told him to
get down he lost his footing and fell on his right
shoulder, he favored it the rest of the day but was
OK buy Fri. mornin. Yes it scared the hell out of me
when he got up limpin, I was soooo relieved to find
he didn't break his leg. Anyway I spent the rest of the
day fixin the fence, it aint pretty but it serves the
purpose. Picture #1 The Problem. POKE THE PICS. TO BIGGIE SIZE EM

Pic #2 After strippin all that nasty fuckin weed off
the fence.

Pics. #3 & #4 After settin a 2X6 for support & stretchin
the fence back over & up & driven pieces of rebar in at
the bottom where the rocks are cause it was curled
up from bein bent over.

Like I said it aint pretty but it works & Jesse wont
get hurt on it again.

WEEKEND JAM #26 ELVIS/HOUND DOG

2009-02-20T19:51:00.002-07:00

To Thank my dear friend Dana for the AWESOME
animated picture of Jesse & I (top right) I felt it
only appropriat this weeks jam be about a dog &
what better than this classic. Thank You Dana.

THE PRICE IS RIGHT !

2009-02-19T08:56:00.006-07:00

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father
and working in the family business.
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune
when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a
wife with which to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting he spotted
the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her,
"but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll
inherit $200 million.

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card
and three days later, she became his stepmother.

The cold hard truth is Women are so much better
at financial planning than men.

POKE HER...uhh I MEAN POKE THE PIC. TO BIGGIE SIZE IT. heh heh

"SCAT" CAT

2009-02-15T17:59:00.006-07:00

Well at least she won't have to worry about shittin
her britches when she turns around !

poke the pic. to biggie size it.

THE WEEKEND JAM #25 MARK WILLS/"19 SOMETHIN"

2009-02-13T13:15:00.004-07:00

OK I never wore parachute pants &
Pop never wore sideburns but I love
this song anyway & I often miss those days.

HONEST SCRAP jGrrl & HoosierGirl tagged me

2009-02-10T12:33:00.009-07:00

jGrrl & HoosirGirl tagged me to do Honest Scrap...
well here goes.

List 10 honest things about yourself - and make it
interesting, even if you have to dig deep! Then tag
7 bloggers that you feel embody the spirit of the
Honest Scrap. Simple. Or not.

1) I can't stand the taste of liver and when I say
I can't stand it I mean it was the last thing my folks
ever forced me to eat when I was 12 yrs. old.
Liver & onions with gravy was one of my mom's
favorite meals. As I sat there at the table trying to
convince my pop that I couldn't eat it and being
told I would eat it or go hungry I said I'd go hungry
but pop said EAT. I managed to CHOKE down two
VERY small bites the third was too much and I
threw up in my plate, mom instantly followed suit,
she had a week tummy...I was never forced to eat
something I said I didn't like again.

2) I won't wear boxers or go commando, I value my
junk too much to just let it swing...or stick to my leg.
Yep it's nut huggers for me.

3) I was a carpet installer for 8 years and quite good
at it if I say so myself, I can still do it but it takes 5
times longer than it used to and hurts 10 time more.

4) I'm 5' 6" tall but I wish I could be at least 4"
taller, it's a reach thing.

5) I love to cook but don't as often as I'd like to...
cookin for one sucks.

6) I spoil my boy Jesse every chance I get, for example
when he got to big for HIS Lazyboy recliner I moved
it to the bedroom & bought him a full size couch/sofa.

7) A dear friend suggested that I'm in love with Beer,
I love Beer but I'm not IN love with Beer...
holy crap that's what my first EX told me just before
she split...but I'M NOT LEAVIN BEER !

8) I wrecked a motorcycle once when I was 19 yrs.
old cause I was starin at the biggest set of boobs
I'd ever seen...so far.
What can I say I love Boobs...& Beer.

9) I have a condition known as Geographic Tongue
which prohibits me from eating spicy foods and yet
I'm a Garlic & Salt aholic.

10) When I was about 10 yrs. old my mom would
buy these doggie treats called Doggie Donutz for our
family dog, every time I gave one to the dog I would
sneak one for myself...until mom caught me,
hey they were tasty.

I'm not gonna tag anyone, if ya wanna do this do it
if not I hope you enjoyed readin mine.

Please disregard the read more. Thanks

THE DEAD HORSE

2009-02-08T18:12:00.003-07:00

Young Chuck moved to Montana and bought a horse from
a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the
horse the next day. The next Day he drove up and said,
"Sorry, Son, but I have some bad news, The horse died.

Chuck replied,
Well,then just give me my money back.
The farmer said,
Can't do that,I went and spent it already.
Chuck said,
Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.
The farmer asked,What ya gonna do with him?
Chuck said,
I'm going to raffle him off.
The farmer said,
You can't raffle off a dead horse!
Chuck said,
Sure I can, Watch me I just won't tell anybody he's dead.
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked,
What happened With that dead horse?
Chuck said,
I raffled him off.
I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a Piece and made a
net profit of $898.00.
The farmer said,
Didn't anyone complain?
Chuck said,
Just the guy who won.
So I gave him his two dollars back.

Chuck grew up and now works for the government.

WEEKEND JAM #24 SUPERTRAMP/THE LOGICAL SONG

2009-02-06T18:34:00.003-07:00

LOGIC IS OFTEN OVER RATED !
But I love this song.

WOO HOO JESSE WON !

2009-02-04T22:26:00.006-07:00

Jesse is now a member of Spikes Pack and we want
to thank each and every one of you who voted for him.
I appreciate y'all puttin up with the constant reminders
to vote for him & if he could Jesse would give you all
a big wet sloppy tongue kiss.

Thanks again everyone, your the best.

JESSE NEEDS YOUR VOTE- - UPDATE

2009-01-31T10:01:00.005-07:00

Votin is closed & we're waitin for the official decision.

Hey everyone Jesse is tryin to join Spikes Pack again
this month and he really needs your vote and we
would greatly appreciate it if y'all would ask ALL your
friends to drop in at Spikes place too and vote for
Jesse. You can vote at Spikes Place
http://askspikeonline.com/ from 12:01 A.M. Feb. 1st
thru midnight Feb. 3rd. Thanks to everyone for helpin.

THE WEEKEND JAM #23 FACES/Ooo LA LA

2009-01-30T14:18:00.002-07:00

How many of us really do wish we knew then what
we know now? I know I do!

THE WHITE LINE TREATMENT

2009-01-27T20:06:00.001-07:00

When I was in the 7th grade my friends and I were...
well...less than model students. I know hard to believe
huh! Yeah OK pretty much all through school but 7th
grade is when the real fun stuff started goin on.
No I'm not talkin about chicks...this time.

There were 5 of us guys counting myself that started
hangin around together in the 4th grade and by the 7th
grade one of the guys we had nicknamed Coffeebean
cause of his last name, he was 6' tall and weighed about
75 pounds NO KIDDIN! And boy was he a goofy lookin
fucker.

We used to play a game at lunch time out on the football
field called smear the queer (no offense to gay folks) it
was the 70's and I didn't name the game I just played it.
Anyway the game went like this, one guy would throw
a football up as high as he could at one end of the field
with the rest of us standing close by. When the ball came
down and was caught someone would shout
"SMEAR THE QUEER" ! whoever caught it had to make
it to the other end of the field if he could before being
smeared AKA Dog piled.

We would often try to make sure that Coffeebean caught
the ball...OK almost always cause with his freakishly
long legs he was quite a challenge to catch but we WOULD
catch him. Now before readin the rest of this y'all should
know that Coffeebean was always a good sport and in
fact we always believed he took some weird pleasure
in the following.

Now here's where we got to the real fun.
After the dog pile we would grab Coffeebean's feet and
spread his legs like a wishbone and tell him to grab his
gonads, this was most enjoyable when there were girls
lookin. After he complied and had a handfull of his
crotch we would drag him down the white chalk line on
the field, ornery little shits weren't we.
But wait there's more.

In the boys restroom that was just off the field there was
a hose bib or what some call a water spigot stickin out of
the wall about 5' high, why it was that high we had no
idea but it served our purpose. After draggin Coffeebean
down the white line we would carry him into the
restroom and hang him on that hose bib by his belt
and leave. don't worry all he had to do was unbuckle
his belt to get down and he always came out laughing
and swearin that next time it would be one of us.

In case your wonderin I and the rest of the guys took
our turns gettin smeared but Coffeebean was the only
one who ever got "THE WHITE LINE TREATMENT" !

THE TINIEST CABIN

2009-01-25T17:17:00.003-07:00

A social worker from Massachusetts recently transferred to the Mountains of North Georgia was on the first tour of his new territory when he Came upon the tiniest cabin he had ever seen in his life.

Intrigued, he went up and knocked on the door.

'Anybody home?' he asked.

'Yep,' came a kid's voice through the door.

'Is your father there?' asked the social worker.

'Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma came in,' said the kid.

'Well, is your mother there?' persisted the social worker.

'Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here,' said the kid.

'But,' protested the social worker, 'are you never together as a family?'

'Sure, but not here,' said the kid through the door.

'This is JUST a one hole outhouse!'

I don't know who wrote this but I just had to share it with y'all.

THE WEEKEND JAM #22 JACKSON BROWNE/THE PRETENDER

2009-01-23T09:26:00.003-07:00

It's ALL about the struggle for the legal tender !