" Tempus Fugit "


Monday, September 1, 2008


I don't know who originally composed this list
but I felt I needed to share it with ya'll.

Law of Mechanical Repair.
After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity.
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.

Law of Probability.
The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers.
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy
signal and someone always answers.

Law of the Alibi.
If you tell the boss you were late for work because
you had a flat tire, the very next morning you
will have a flat tire.

Variation Law.
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you
were in will always move faster than the one you
are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath.
When the body is fully immersed in water, the
telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters.
The probability of meeting someone you know
increases dramatically when you are with
someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result.
When you try to prove to someone that a
machine won't work, it will.

Law of Bio mechanics.
The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater.
At any event, the people whose seats are f
urthest from the aisle arrive last.

The Starbucks Law.
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
your boss will ask you to do something which
will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers.
If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces.
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich
landing face down on a floor covering are directly
correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument.
Anything is possible if you don't know what
you are talking about.

Brown's Law of Physical Appearance.
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law of Public Speaking.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy.
As soon as you find a product that you really like,
they will stop making it.

Doctors' Law.
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to
go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll
feel better. Don't make an appointment and
you'll stay sick.

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