" Tempus Fugit "


Tuesday, January 27, 2009


When I was in the 7th grade my friends and I were...
well...less than model students. I know hard to believe
huh! Yeah OK pretty much all through school but 7th
grade is when the real fun stuff started goin on.
No I'm not talkin about chicks...this time.

There were 5 of us guys counting myself that started
hangin around together in the 4th grade and by the 7th
grade one of the guys we had nicknamed Coffeebean
cause of his last name, he was 6' tall and weighed about
75 pounds NO KIDDIN! And boy was he a goofy lookin

We used to play a game at lunch time out on the football
field called smear the queer (no offense to gay folks) it
was the 70's and I didn't name the game I just played it.
Anyway the game went like this, one guy would throw
a football up as high as he could at one end of the field
with the rest of us standing close by. When the ball came
down and was caught someone would shout
"SMEAR THE QUEER" ! whoever caught it had to make
it to the other end of the field if he could before being
smeared AKA Dog piled.

We would often try to make sure that Coffeebean caught
the ball...OK almost always cause with his freakishly
long legs he was quite a challenge to catch but we WOULD
catch him. Now before readin the rest of this y'all should
know that Coffeebean was always a good sport and in
fact we always believed he took some weird pleasure
in the following.

Now here's where we got to the real fun.
After the dog pile we would grab Coffeebean's feet and
spread his legs like a wishbone and tell him to grab his
gonads, this was most enjoyable when there were girls
lookin. After he complied and had a handfull of his
crotch we would drag him down the white chalk line on
the field, ornery little shits weren't we.
But wait there's more.

In the boys restroom that was just off the field there was
a hose bib or what some call a water spigot stickin out of
the wall about 5' high, why it was that high we had no
idea but it served our purpose. After draggin Coffeebean
down the white line we would carry him into the
restroom and hang him on that hose bib by his belt
and leave. don't worry all he had to do was unbuckle
his belt to get down and he always came out laughing
and swearin that next time it would be one of us.

In case your wonderin I and the rest of the guys took
our turns gettin smeared but Coffeebean was the only
one who ever got "THE WHITE LINE TREATMENT" !

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