TRANSLATIONS

DICTIONARY FOR MEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish...........................................................50+
Adventurous.................................................Will sleep with anyone
Athletic..........................................................Has a job
Average looking............................................Beer Belly
Handsome....................................................Gray hair
Emotionally secure.......................................Drinks alot
Contagious smile..........................................Really drinks alot
Friendship first.............................................I'll use a condom
Fun...............................................................See contagious smile
Open minded................................................Will your girlfriend join us?
Outgoing......................................................See contagious smile
Passionate....................................................doesn't mind foreplay first
Wants soul mate...........................................I need a live in maid!

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish.........................................................49
Adventurous..........................................Slept with everyone
Athletic......................................................No Tits
Average looking........................................Homely
Beautiful.....................................................Pathological liar
Emotionally secure....................................Does prescription pills
Contagious smile........................................Does any pills
Feminist.....................................................Butch
Free spirit...................................................Junkie
Friendship first...........................................Trying to kick the slutty habit
Fun.............................................................Annoying
New age......................................................Body hair everywhere
Open minded..............................................Desperate
Outgoing....................................................Loud & embarrassing
Passionate.................................................Sloppy drunk
Professional...............................................Bitch
Wants soul mate.........................................Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1 Yes = No
2 No = Yes
3 Maybe = No
4 We need = I want
5 I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6 We need to talk = Your in trouble
7 Sure go ahead = You better not
8 Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
9 I am not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron
10 Your very attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about ?

MEN'S ENGLISH
1 I am hungry = I am hungry
2 I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3 I am tired = I am tired
4 Nice dress = Nice cleavage !
5 I love you = Lets have sex now
6 I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7 May I have this dance = I want to have sex with you!
8 Can I call you sometime? = I want to have sex with you!
9 Do you want to go to a movie? = I want to have sex with you!
10 Can I take you out to dinner? = I want to have sex with you!
11 Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm Gay!