AGEING...COMPUTERS vs PEOPLE

Two weeks ago my sisters & I finally went through
the last of my mom's boxes & photo albums and I
got some old & VERY OLD family photo's.

I just spent the last few days SLOWLY recovering
files from my old computer & I'm still in the process
of gettin this new one set up the way I want it &
I got to thinkin about how people & computers
age.

~Computers~ if your lucky and or have the very
BEST security programs on them and keep them
healthy & updated with the latest developments
can have a life span of a few years or so but they
too still slow down with age & don't look or perform
near as good as the younger "newer" models.

Computer models when they first come out are
kind of odd lookin at first. But with computers
their looks don't change as they age ya just get
used to they're appearance & when they
"pass away" they still look the same but somehow
just don't look as good as they did years ago.

~People~ when they first come out are kind of odd
lookin to but as we age we get new developments,
get bigger & for most better lookin & we try to stay
healthy and can have a very long life span. But then
we also start slowin down & don't perform as well
as we used to & people when we "pass away" at
the end of that long life span we DON'T look as
good as we did years ago.

So I think I'd have to conclude that the biggest
differences would be that computers never change
in appearance & have a relatively short life span,
people have a longer life span but are almost
always changing in appearance.

Here's an example.
The first picture is me at age 47, the second picture
is me at about age 2... wasn't I a cute little shit
when I was new!
POKE THE PICS. TO BIGGIE SIZE EM.

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BEFORE REMOTE CONTROLS

(Under age 40? You may not understand.)

You could hardly see for all the snow,
Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go.
Pull a chair up to the TV set,

Remote control wasn't invented yet.

My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread

mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife

and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning.

My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter

AND I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school

sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown

paper bag, not in ice-pack coolers,

but I can't remember getting e.coli .

Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in

the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring),

The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone

in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system.

We all took PE .. and risked permanent injury

with a pair of high top Ked's instead of having

cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles

and built in light reflectors. I can't recall any injuries

but they must have happened because they tell us how

much safer we are now.

Flunking PE was not an option .. even for stupid kids!

All you had to do was participate & do your best.

Speaking of school, we all said The Pledge of Allegiance

(the under God version) and staying in detention after

school caught all sorts of negative attention.

We must have had horribly damaged psyches.

What an archaic health system we had then.

Remember school nurses?

Ours wore a white nurses uniform.

We had to accomplish something before we were

allowed to be proud of ourselves.

I just can't recall how bored we were without

computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or

270 digital TV cable stations...wait that's because

we went OUTSIDE to play with our friends in person.

Oh yeah ... and where was the Benadryl and

sterilization kit when I got that bee sting?

I could have been killed!

We played 'king of the hill' on piles of gravel left on

vacant construction sites, and when we got hurt,

Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of Mercurochrome

(kids liked it better because it didn't sting like iodine did)

and then we got our butt spanked.

Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a

10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics, and then

Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving

a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.

We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either because

if we did, we got our butt spanked there and then we

got butt spanked again when we got home.

I recall my best friend coming over and doing tricks on

the front stoop, just before he fell off. Little did his Mom

know that she could have owned our house.

Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for being

such a goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck.

To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been

told that they were from a dysfunctional family..

How could we possibly have known that?

I guess we needed to get into group therapy and anger

management classes? We were obviously so duped by

so many societal ills that we didn't even notice that

the entire country needed to be taking Prozac!

How did we ever survive?

TO ALL OF US WHO SHARED THIS ERA,

I WOULDN'T HAVE TRADED IT FOR ANYTHING.

AND TO ALL WHO DIDN'T.

SORRY FOR WHAT YOU MISSED.

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THE WHITE LINE TREATMENT

When I was in the 7th grade my friends and I were...
well...less than model students. I know hard to believe
huh! Yeah OK pretty much all through school but 7th
grade is when the real fun stuff started goin on.
No I'm not talkin about chicks...this time.

There were 5 of us guys counting myself that started
hangin around together in the 4th grade and by the 7th
grade one of the guys we had nicknamed Coffeebean
cause of his last name, he was 6' tall and weighed about
75 pounds NO KIDDIN! And boy was he a goofy lookin
fucker.

We used to play a game at lunch time out on the football
field called smear the queer (no offense to gay folks) it
was the 70's and I didn't name the game I just played it.
Anyway the game went like this, one guy would throw
a football up as high as he could at one end of the field
with the rest of us standing close by. When the ball came
down and was caught someone would shout
"SMEAR THE QUEER" ! whoever caught it had to make
it to the other end of the field if he could before being
smeared AKA Dog piled.

We would often try to make sure that Coffeebean caught
the ball...OK almost always cause with his freakishly
long legs he was quite a challenge to catch but we WOULD
catch him. Now before readin the rest of this y'all should
know that Coffeebean was always a good sport and in
fact we always believed he took some weird pleasure
in the following.

Now here's where we got to the real fun.
After the dog pile we would grab Coffeebean's feet and
spread his legs like a wishbone and tell him to grab his
gonads, this was most enjoyable when there were girls
lookin. After he complied and had a handfull of his
crotch we would drag him down the white chalk line on
the field, ornery little shits weren't we.
But wait there's more.

In the boys restroom that was just off the field there was
a hose bib or what some call a water spigot stickin out of
the wall about 5' high, why it was that high we had no
idea but it served our purpose. After draggin Coffeebean
down the white line we would carry him into the
restroom and hang him on that hose bib by his belt
and leave. don't worry all he had to do was unbuckle
his belt to get down and he always came out laughing
and swearin that next time it would be one of us.

In case your wonderin I and the rest of the guys took
our turns gettin smeared but Coffeebean was the only
one who ever got "THE WHITE LINE TREATMENT" !

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