AN OBITUARY PRINTED IN THE LONDON TIMES.

'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend.

'Common Sense',
who has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was, since his
birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such
valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair;
and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies
(don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable
strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well
intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment
for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for
using mouth wash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked
teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed
to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to
get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an
Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when
a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became
businesses; and criminals received better treatment than
their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend
yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar
could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a
woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee
was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly
awarded a huge settlement .

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents,
Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion, his daughter,
Responsibility, his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights;
I Want It Now; Someone Else Is To Blame; I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

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BEER, HOOKERS & TATTOO'S

The federal government is sending each and
every one of us a $600 rebate.

If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money
will go to China.

If we spend it on gasoline, it will go to the Arabs.

If we purchase a computer, it will go to India.

If we purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to
Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.

If we purchase a good car, it will go to Japan.

If we purchase useless crap, it will go to Taiwan.

None of it will help the American economy.

The only way to keep that money here at
home is to buy prostitutes, beer, and tattoos,
since these are the only products still
produced in the USA.

Thank you for your help & please
support the USA.

So get shitfaced, always use a condom
and choose your Tattoo's wisely America !

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