Back in 1990 when I was still drivin long haul
I had a layover in a little town in Oklahoma, I
don't remember the town's name but they had
a store that sold Beer, hey a man's got to have
priorities. As I approached the Beer cooler I
spotted a six pack of Rattlesnake Beer, that's
right Rattlesnake Beer!
I realized right off of course it's a tourist thing
but I thought hey that's a cool bottle and maybe
just maybe it'll taste good....well it's a cool bottle.
The taste however I can only say......
I wonder how they got the Rattlesnakes to PISS
in the bottles? It was the worst Beer I've ever
tasted...wait the second worst, I almost forgot
about coors. POKE THE PIC. TO BIGGIE SIZE IT.
Well I paid for em so I drank em, all but the one,
I saved the last unopened one as proof this was
a real marketed product and the empty as my
badge of honor. What can I say, I love Beer and
if I pay for it I'm drinkin it...even if it taste's like
Rattlesnake piss.
What's the weirdest Beer y'all have ever
tasted or seen?
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
RATTLESNAKE BEER
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Bubba J. / Redneck Book of Manners
This is my favorite Jeff Dunham/Bubba J. routine.
I swiped this from Coffypot
Tips From the Redneck Book of Manners:
Basic Manners
1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before
shooting at them.
3. Its considered poor taste to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to
change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the
will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to
the funeral home.
Dining Out:
1. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold
it with your fingers covering the label.
2. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor
as the restaurant may not have dogs.
Entertaining In Your Home:
1. A centerpiece for the table should never be
anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table no matter
how good his manners are.
Personal Hygiene:
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a
job that should be done in private using one's
OWN truck keys
2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for
several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant
is a waste of good money.
3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social
no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry
and alter the taste of finger foods.
Dating (outside the family):
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially
on the first date.
2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested:
"I've been wanting to go out with you since I read
that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."
3. Establish with her parents what time she is
expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; others
might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer,
it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.
4. Always have a positive comment about your date's
appearance, such as, "Ya'll sure don't sweat much
for a fat broad.
"Weddings:
1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may
get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit
with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can
create too sporty an appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and
shoes for this special occasion.
5. It is not appropriate to tell the groom how good
his wife is in the sack.
Driving Etiquette:
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles;
even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle
with the largest tires always has the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a
gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
5. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle,
especially when driving.
6. Do not burn rubber while traveling in a
funeral procession.
Two Reasons why it is hard to solve a Redneck Murder:
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Smoked Venison Burrito's
Well none of ya'll showed up for breakfast
this morning, to bad for ya.
Ingredients - - Smoked Venison, Taters,
Onions, Garlic, Season all, Ground Sage,
Dill Weed...
Add Ortega diced green chili's...
Place in tortilla top with shredded Chedder,
roll and CHOW mmmmmmmmmmm.
The one I have for lunch is going to be even
Thursday, April 17, 2008
SATUERDAY IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER
Awesome Graphics and Myspace Layouts at pYzam.com
Yeah your right, good fishin or bad fishin....
THERE WILL BE BEER!!!
Monday, April 14, 2008
Beer...Cheaper & Taste's Better
Your dyin to know how I know about
the taste huh.
Funny Pictures and Myspace Layouts at pYzam.com
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Evil Brewery
Lyin Bastards...
It doesn't taste anything like pus...uhh vergina.
I know I know, a not e but I'm a redneck and
you get it so that makes you a redneck to HA.
If it did taste like pus...you know,
I'd probably be an alcoholic, heh heh.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Guy's maybe we're to easy.....NAAAAAA
How To Impress a Woman......
Compliment her
Cuddle her
Kiss her
Caress her
Love her
Tease her
Comfort her
Protect her
Hug her
Hold her
Spend money on her
Wine and dine her
Buy things for her
Listen to her
Care for her
Stand by her
Support her
Go to the ends of the Earth for her..
How to Impress a Man......
Show up naked
Bring beer
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
No Hangover WOO-HOOO
I had a great time celebrating my B-Day last
night and drank ALOT of beer, mmmmm beeeeer.
I stayed away from the whiskey cause
I had to work today.
I was greatly pleased when I got up at 4:30
this morning to have no headache or gut sickness.
Although I did have that funky feeling all over
for about half the day kinda like my brain had
sobered up but my body was still sorta drunk.
Then that cleared up and it 's all good.
