JESSE NEEDS YOUR VOTE- - UPDATE

Votin is closed & we're waitin for the official decision.

Hey everyone Jesse is tryin to join Spikes Pack again
this month and he really needs your vote and we
would greatly appreciate it if y'all would ask ALL your
friends to drop in at Spikes place too and vote for
Jesse. You can vote at Spikes Place
http://askspikeonline.com/ from 12:01 A.M. Feb. 1st
thru midnight Feb. 3rd. Thanks to everyone for helpin.

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THE WEEKEND JAM #23 FACES/Ooo LA LA

How many of us really do wish we knew then what
we know now? I know I do!

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THE WHITE LINE TREATMENT

When I was in the 7th grade my friends and I were...
well...less than model students. I know hard to believe
huh! Yeah OK pretty much all through school but 7th
grade is when the real fun stuff started goin on.
No I'm not talkin about chicks...this time.

There were 5 of us guys counting myself that started
hangin around together in the 4th grade and by the 7th
grade one of the guys we had nicknamed Coffeebean
cause of his last name, he was 6' tall and weighed about
75 pounds NO KIDDIN! And boy was he a goofy lookin
fucker.

We used to play a game at lunch time out on the football
field called smear the queer (no offense to gay folks) it
was the 70's and I didn't name the game I just played it.
Anyway the game went like this, one guy would throw
a football up as high as he could at one end of the field
with the rest of us standing close by. When the ball came
down and was caught someone would shout
"SMEAR THE QUEER" ! whoever caught it had to make
it to the other end of the field if he could before being
smeared AKA Dog piled.

We would often try to make sure that Coffeebean caught
the ball...OK almost always cause with his freakishly
long legs he was quite a challenge to catch but we WOULD
catch him. Now before readin the rest of this y'all should
know that Coffeebean was always a good sport and in
fact we always believed he took some weird pleasure
in the following.

Now here's where we got to the real fun.
After the dog pile we would grab Coffeebean's feet and
spread his legs like a wishbone and tell him to grab his
gonads, this was most enjoyable when there were girls
lookin. After he complied and had a handfull of his
crotch we would drag him down the white chalk line on
the field, ornery little shits weren't we.
But wait there's more.

In the boys restroom that was just off the field there was
a hose bib or what some call a water spigot stickin out of
the wall about 5' high, why it was that high we had no
idea but it served our purpose. After draggin Coffeebean
down the white line we would carry him into the
restroom and hang him on that hose bib by his belt
and leave. don't worry all he had to do was unbuckle
his belt to get down and he always came out laughing
and swearin that next time it would be one of us.

In case your wonderin I and the rest of the guys took
our turns gettin smeared but Coffeebean was the only
one who ever got "THE WHITE LINE TREATMENT" !

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THE TINIEST CABIN

A social worker from Massachusetts recently transferred to the Mountains of North Georgia was on the first tour of his new territory when he Came upon the tiniest cabin he had ever seen in his life.

Intrigued, he went up and knocked on the door.

'Anybody home?' he asked.

'Yep,' came a kid's voice through the door.

'Is your father there?' asked the social worker.

'Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma came in,' said the kid.

'Well, is your mother there?' persisted the social worker.

'Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here,' said the kid.

'But,' protested the social worker, 'are you never together as a family?'

'Sure, but not here,' said the kid through the door.

'This is JUST a one hole outhouse!'

I don't know who wrote this but I just had to share it with y'all.

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THE WEEKEND JAM #22 JACKSON BROWNE/THE PRETENDER

It's ALL about the struggle for the legal tender !

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JESSE DOES THIS THING

Jesse likes to have me hold one end of his chew bone
while he chews and tugs on it and in the process he
gets me to move up to the edge of my chair. Once I'm
there he climbs up behind me with his bone.















He chews it a little more then drops it behind me.















Then he gives me a hug as if to say, keep this safe for
me daddy. Then he jumps down and goes about his
business...takin a nap, chewin another toy or whatever.

Of course as soon as he's not lookin I toss it back

on the floor...what! I'm not sittin on a bone no matter

how much I love the knucklehead.

NOTE: Sorry about the post delete post, I'm haveing trouble with

the Read More feature.

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RECTUM STRECHER

While she was 'flying' down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side, lying in wait.
The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, and asked, 'What's your hurry?'


To which she replied, 'I'm late for work'

'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'

I'm a rectum stretcher,' she responded

The cop stammered, 'A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do

''Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide'

'And just what the hell do you do with a 6-foot asshole? ' he asked

'You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge .....'

Traffic Ticket - $95.00

Court Costs - $45.00

Look on the Cop's Face ................. PRICELESS!

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WEEKEND JAM #21 MEATLOAF/PARADISE BY THE DASHBOARD LIGHT

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REST & RELAXATION

Somebodys been spyin on me and Jesse !
Poke the pic. to biggie size it.






Red and Rover by Brian Basset

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LIKE A CHEAP WHORE

Today Jesse & I met with a driver friend of mine DD who now will also be my second boss, you see DD drives for the same company I do but he also has a truck of his own that he has leased to our boss.

Unfortunately DD had to let his last driver go, and since things have been so slow with our line of work lately DD and our other boss have decided to share me like a cheap whore.

Hey I don't mind as long as I get paid for shiftin their gears and dumpin their loads...their truck gears & loads you perverts sheesh, you guys know I'm into Boobs not Bobs.

Anyway with things the way they are I'm just glad DD and the other boss thought of me for the postition. DD's truck is a straight 16 wheel Peterbilt dump truck, the other truck is an 18 wheel end dump as you all know. For now it seems I'll be driving the 16 mostly but I guess what it boils down to is I'll drive which ever truck has work.

OK enough about work it's time to talk about Jesse again. When Jesse and I met with DD today his wife was with him. Lets call her LDW (lady dog whisperer).

This was the first time I've met LDW and I learned she used to teach a dog obedience class, she immediately ask me to let Jesse out of the truck so of course I did.
As DD and I talked shop LDW was entertaining Jesse. She seemed very impressed with his intelligence and eagerness to please & of course Jess was tickled to make a new friend. LDW worked a little with Jess and showed me the right way to teach him a couple of things.

As it turned out I spent alot more time talkin with LDW about Jesse and gettin a free training lesson than I did talkin to DD about business, but that's ok cause the business part was really just a paperwork formality anyway, DD knows I know what I'm doin behind the wheel.

So now I sorta have two jobs in one and Jesse and I have a training adviser. IT'S ALL GOOD !

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THE WEEKEND JAM # 20 MERLE HAGGARD/ARE THE GOOD TIMES REALLY OVER

This is a song from the early 80's that I think applies
more today than ever before. I hope you all enjoy it.
Next week will be something other than country,
maybe some Devo or Clay Akin...yeah right! :-) heh

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JESSE'S STICKS

Y'all know my boy Jesse, well Jesse like most dogs
likes to play with sticks. He likes to fetch em & he
likes to chew on em.
POKE THE PICS. TO BIGGIE SIZE EM















Every time I take him out to play or just to potty
he finds a stick to play with, sometimes he wants
to play fetch sometimes he just likes to shake his
head side to side & up & down with the stick in
his mouth and let it go flyin only to pounce on it
and do it all over again. Sometimes he picks one up
and runs full blast around the field and drive way
like a dog possessed just because he can.
He has a blast with his sticks and I love watchin him
and playin fetch with him.
This is Jesse's current stick collection.
If ya look close you'll see a couple a bones in there too.















Jesse always tries to bring his sticks into the house
when we come in and I have to take them away from
him and lay them on the window ledge, if I throw them
back into the field when I take them from him he just
goes chasin after them and brings em back and tries
to get in the house with em again...he LOVES that game.















Anyway it's time to slip out and scatter his sticks back
out in the field so he can find & collect em all over again.

Though this behavior may not be anything special as
far as dogs go Jesse is special to me and I enjoy sharing
him with all of you. I hope you all enjoy watchin him
grow up with me. Yes, Yes I am a proud Daddy.

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WEEKEND JAM # 19 TERRI CLARK/DIRTY GIRL

I think I love Terri Clark...OK OK it's LUST but
DAAAAAMN can ya blame me? Click the link
below the pic. and you'll see it's not just her looks
that turn me on.




















http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7d-DiYOHs_U

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SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE...HAPPY NEW YEAR

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry

hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long robe.

If you see husband along the way,

cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --

make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use wash cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo

with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for

10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa

cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs. Rinse off.

Turn off shower.Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way,

cover up any exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed

and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her

making the woo-woo sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.

Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the

water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates

and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs

stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off.

Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain

was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor,

and light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her

and make the woo-woo sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone who did not laugh at the truth

behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you.

Have a great New Year.....

and woo woo!!!

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